Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – FEBRUARY 8 - 14, 2010
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MISCELLANEOUS
National Zoo's Panda Sent to China to Be Bred
And reeducated.
 
TECHNOLOGY
Mussolini iPhone App a Hit in Italy
Tells you when trains running on time.
 
FACTOID
Average American Male Has
Gained 17 Pounds Since 1988

But it's all muscle.
 
SPORTS
NCAA Uncovers More Recruiting Violations
Coach Mike “Stretch” McNulty (left) of South Virginia State accused of illegal payments to 18-year-old phenom Yang Tao (right).
FEATURE
Sen. Saxby Chambliss (R-GA) opposes repealing “Don't Ask, Don't Tell” because:
A ) it would lead to alcohol use.
B ) it would lead to adultery.
C ) it would lead to fraternization.
D ) it would lead to body art.
E ) all of the above.
Hint: If you spot a drunk tattooed homosexual soldier having sex with Gen. McChrystal's wife, don't blame Saxby Chambliss.
 
CONSUMER NEWS
Amish Recall 43,000 Buggies
Following reports of sudden acceleration.

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