Ironic Times

page one
PAGE THREE – MAR 29 - APR 4, 2010
page two

PEOPLE
South Africa President Jacob Zuma
Admits to Extramarital Affair

Apologizes to his three wives (shown).
 
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Study: Food Portions in Last Supper Paintings Have Gotten Progressively Larger
In one recent version (not shown) Jesus completely obscured by bucket of fried chicken.
 
TECHNOLOGY
Robots Becoming More Common as Practice Dental Patients
Better suited to withstand pain, suffering of listening to one bad joke after another without being able to respond.
FEATURE
What is the most commonly accepted sign that Armageddon has begun?
A ) A seven-headed beast descends from the heavens breathing fire.
B ) The Antichrist arrives to conquer the world.
C ) Congress passes a Health Reform Bill.
Hint: fire-breathing seven-headed beasts will be able to purchase insurance coverage from a health care exchange.
 
TRENDS
Alcohol Consumption Down
9% in Ireland

Experts cite 12% drop in population.
 
RELIGION
Catholic TV Network Goes 3-D
You'll swear that communion wafer's headed right for your nose.

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
   Copyright 2010 Ironic Times