Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – APRIL 19 - 25, 2010
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TECHNOLOGY
Scientists Developing Computer
Based on Cat Brain

When completed it will ignore all human commands.
Robots Getting Smarter, Stronger
We're getting dumber, weaker.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Study: Even 9-Month-Olds Choose Gender-Specific Toys
Boys prefer Luke Skywalker Star Wars Laser Saber to Barbie doll; girls prefer Barbie's First Pink Corvette to frisbee.
 
FASHION
Latest Designs Reflect Fears
Fears of class warfare.
 
SPORTS
Texas Stadium, Longtime Home of Cowboys, Imploded
80,000 killed.
FEATURE
What exactly is Goldman Sachs accused of doing?
A )Creating new financial instruments to hide bad mortgages.
B )Deceiving clients by bundling them as valuable securities.
C )Betting against its own securities.
D )Dumping the whole toxic mess on investors.
Hint: You can't flunk this quiz.
 
POLL
Tea Partiers Wealthier, More Educated
But not very wealthy, not well educated.
 
NEW PRODUCTS
Pants, High Chairs Among Hot Novelty Pet Items
Not shown: galoshes for cats, earmuffs for snakes, belts for alligators.

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