Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MAY 24 - 30, 2010
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PEOPLE
Woody Allen Comes Out in Support of Polanski
Surprise, surprise.
Resigning Congressman Made
Pro-Teen Abstinence Video
With His Mistress

Steps down before anti-sodomy video he made with his gay lover goes viral.
 
PUBLISHING
Gisele Bundchen, Heidi Klum, Kate Moss Top Earners for Models, Says Forbes
In its first annual Lingerie Edition.
 
BUSINESS
Burger King Introduces Six-Hundred Pound Burger
Comes with all-you-can-eat fries.
SCIENCE
6 Men in 520-Day Simulated
Mission to Mars

Results will be compared with six women spending 520 days in simulated mission to Venus.
Physicists Make Breakthrough in Explaining Existence
Could lead to definitive answer with more funding.
 
Maryland Scientist Creates Worldís First Synthetic Life Form
It eats hole in test tube, scoots out under door.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Link Between Cellphone Use and Brain Cancer Inconclusive
More X-rays needed.
Study: Those Over Fifty
Happier, Less Stressed

Knowing those under fifty will have to work until they're ninety.

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