Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JUNE 14 - 20, 2010
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MEDIA
Jockeying for Helen Thomas’s Front-and-Center Seat in White House Press Room
Struggle between subservient toadies and ass-kissing sycophants is fierce.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
TV Networks Propose Nationwide Spoiler Alert
Warning sirens would sound in West whenever season-ending episodes air three hours earlier in East.
 
BUSINESS
Oil Spill Disaster: BP Suspends Dividends
Wait! This could be really serious!
Winning Bid Tops $2.5 Million for Dinner With Warren Buffett
Dessert not included.
SCIENCE
Earth, Moon Younger Than Thought
And Venus won't reveal its age.
Attractiveness of Opposite Sex Wholly Depends On Others’ Perceptions
And a couple of Mai Tais.
 
Scientists Explain Why Cellphones
Annoying

But their explanation's annoying, and so are they.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
FDA Warns Pfizer for Not
Reporting Side-Effects

Next time it happens they'll tell.
Study: Grumpier People Think
More Clearly

As you tried to explain to that smiley-faced nitwit behind the counter.
Study: Pot No Detriment to Driving
Tell it to the judge.

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