Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JULY 12 - 18, 2010
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MISCELLANEOUS
Few Injuries at Running of the Bulls
Many hurt at running of the bears (not shown).
Experts: Video Games, TV Cause Attention Problems for Children
They're less able to concentrate on ads for upcoming TV shows, video games.
Study: We Read on Paper Faster Than on Computer Screen
We read on stone tablets faster than on paper.
 
POLITICS
Analysis: Success of Local Football Teams in Last Two Weeks Before an Election Helps Incumbents
More important to voters’ sense of well-being than economy, war, life, death.
 
KIDZ KORNER
Vocabulary Builders
Victory n. hanging around until nobody is paying attention anymore and you can go home.
SPECIAL FEATURE
I know people have been calling me “the GOP's Joe Biden” for saying, among other things, that Afghanistan is “Obama's War,” but really, I don't care.
You see, as the first black chairman of the Republican Party since it evolved from its Abolitionist roots, they can't get rid of me. How would it look? You finally elevate a person of color to your highest post and then chop him down unceremoniously? The party of Lincoln? Won't happen. Case closed.
See you at the 2012 convention!
 
SPORTS
Gambling Scandal Threatens Japanese Sumo Tournament
Say it ainít so, Hideo.

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