Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JUL 26 - AUG 1, 2010
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TECHNOLOGY
Supersonic Car Unveiled
Should reduce typical two-hour commute to thirty seconds.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Report: Alarms Had Been
Turned Off on BP Oil Rig

And all “No Smoking” signs removed.
 
SPORTS
Minor Leaguers to Be Tested for Human Growth Hormone
Players testing positive will be called up to majors.
Tiger Woods Drops Into Tie With Kobe Bryant as Favorite Sports Star
O.J. drops to fifth.
 
PICTURE OF THE WEEK
  Flying Saucer Begins Pre-Boarding
Peaceful visitors' aim is only “to serve man.”
FEATURE
What the hell is this?
A ) Seating chart for Grateful Dead reunion concert you can’t get tickets to.
B )Possible UFO landing areas.
C )Impossible-to-understand map of intelligence companies working for various agencies of the U.S. government.
Hint: wait a minute! Could those 4 seats in the third row opposite DOE, DOJ, Treasury, and STRATCOM possibly still be available? Could they be?!
 
TRAVEL
Italy: 1 in 5 Restaurants Mafia Controlled
Best not to sit by the window.

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