Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – AUGUST 23 - 29, 2010
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PEOPLE
North Korea Joins Facebook
Already Kim Jong il has 24,141,628 friends.
 
MEDIA
Study: Viewers of Four Major Networks Older Than Previously Thought
Metamucil ads replaced by Forest Lawn.
 
BOOKS
OED Now Includes “Vuvuzela”
Also “vuvuzelaphobia” and “vuvuzelacide.”
 
BUSINESS
Income Gap Widens as Rich Get Richer
Poor get children.
Game Companies Finding New Markets for Discontinued Models
Shown: gorillas take turns playing with their new Game Boy.
SCIENCE
Scottish Scientist Says Byproduct of Whiskey Distilling 30% More Powerful Than Ethanol
Also says he can lick any other scientist in the room.
Hearing Loss in Teens Spikes Mysteriously
Nothing mysterious about it, say parents.
 
Scientists Baffled by Crop Circle Resembling Jesus
Forces them to question their basic assumptions about space, time, religion.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
5-Minute Test Predicts Suicide Risk
Almost as good as 5-second test which asks, “Do you want to kill yourself?”
 
HIGH TECH
Malware Winning Battle Against
Antivirus Software

As predicted in Revelations.

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