Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – SEPTEMBER 6 - 12, 2010
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MISCELLANEOUS
Philadelphia: Massive Nude Photo Shoot Cancelled
Shown: disappointed participants return home.
 
INTERNET
Study: Facebook Use Lowers
Grades by 20%

But only for the most popular students.
Google Introduces “Instant” Search
Following complaints some searches were taking as long as a split second.
 
CONSUMER NEWS
Log Cabin All Natural Maple Syrup
Contains 4% Maple Syrup, Caramel
Color, Xanthan Gum

And this surprises you?
 
SPORTS
Vuvuzelas Banned from European
Soccer Competitions

Anybody caught using one will be pummeled by hooligans.
FEATURE
Obama has proposed a corporate tax break exactly like Republicans in Congress have been demanding. Therefore, they will:
  A ) vote for it.
  B ) vote against it.
  C ) pray.
  D ) run around in circles, barking like dogs.
Hint: woof, woof.
 
HUMAN SEXUALITY
Scientists Identify Dance Moves That Make Men Irresistible to Ladies
It's a cross between the Gavotte and the Funky Chicken.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
John Lennon's Toilet Sold at Auction for $14,740
Ringo opens toilet store in Anaheim.

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