Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – OCTOBER 4 - 10, 2010
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PEOPLE
Snooki's First Novel Due in January
Rumors it's an 800-page roman clef set in 19th Century Russia have been quashed.
Rahm Emanuel Resigns as White House Chief of Staff
To spend more time with his piranhas.
 
MEDIA
News Corp Gives Another $1 Million to Conservative Groups
Fears loudest voices not being heard.
 
BUSINESS
Income Gap Widest on Record
95% of nation's wealth in hands of six people.
Fisher-Price Recalls Millions of Tricycles
After reports of sudden acceleration
SCIENCE
14-Year-Old Stonehenge Skeleton Came from Mediterranean
Dragged on family vacation by parents in 1550 B.C., teenager was bored to death.
A Third of Extinct Mammals
May Still Be Alive

They're just hiding.
 
Nearby Habitable Planet Discovered
Planet Gliese 581g has water, plants, trees, good roads, schools and socialized medicine.
 
New Analysis of Mummy Proves St. Rose Died of Heart Attack in 1252
Providing closure for her family.
 
CORRECTION
 
Last week we reported that the U.S. State Dept. planned to apologize to Guatemala for "accidentally infecting hundreds of people with gonorrhea and syphilis" sixty years ago. It should have read "intentionally infecting hundreds of people with gonorrhea and syphilis." We apologize.

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