Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – OCTOBER 4 - 10, 2010
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MISCELLANEOUS
Rumor: Fox News Upset With Glenn Beck
Network fears he's promoting himself, not Fox's “fair and balanced” agenda.
 
FACTOID
Only 52% of Americans Say
They're Married

In an informal survey at a local tavern.
 
TRAVEL
Las Vegas Hotel “Death Ray” Reflects Sun from Windows onto Guests at Pool
General Manager Darth Vader says news reports “ludicrously overstate actual power of Death Ray.”
 
SPORTS
Study: Humans Approaching Their Peak Athletic Performance
Until then, expect ticket prices to keep going up.
FEATURE
The Navy’s new Virginia Class Nuclear Submarines come with a super-stealth outer coating which makes them run quieter, absorbing sonar impulses. What’s wrong with this coating?
A ) It’s very expensive.
B ) It’s difficult to apply.
C ) It falls apart underwater.
Hint: But it works great in dry dock.
 
RELIGION
Druidism Recognized as Religion in UK
Druids can no longer be penalized for leaving work early on solstices.

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