Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – OCTOBER 11 - 17, 2010
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PEOPLE
Donald Trump Mulling Presidential Run
He thinks it may take $1 trillion to get himself elected.
GOP's Whitman Blames Opponent for Housekeeper Flap
Says Brown was governor when her housekeeper snuck into California.
 
BUSINESS
72,000 Stimulus Checks
Went to Dead People

Who spent more than the banks.
Late Back-to-School Shopping
Lifts Retail Sales

Mostly for handguns.
Dow Above 11,000 for First
Time Since May

Roll over and tell the guy in the next cardboard box.
SCIENCE
Happiness Levels Can Be Affected
By Life Experience, Events

According to study sponsored by The Duh Institute.
Study: Genes Determine Shopping Habits
You might have inherited 35,000-year-old Bloomingdale’s gene.
 
Copernicus Reburied in Polish Cathedral
Rolls over in new grave.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
1 in 4 High Schoolers, Young
Adults Binge Drink

At least they’re not doing drugs.
Sex Survey: Most Women Fake Orgasm
But sincerely enjoy dinner that preceded it.

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