Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – NOVEMBER 1 - 7, 2010
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PEOPLE
Russian Spy Anna Chapman Gets Kremlin's Highest Honor
Dinner with Putin.
Newly Revealed Files Document Hitler's Daily Routine
Got up, had breakfast, took a walk, ordered Poland crushed.
 
BUSINESS
Currency War Could Threaten
Global Economy

Which has been doing so well.
Even Rich Turning to Pawn Shops
Looking for a cheap yacht?
GlaxoSmithKline Pays $750 Million for Knowingly Selling Tainted Baby Ointment and Ineffective Antidepressant
After thousands of depressed mothers complain about screaming babies.
SCIENCE
Night Owls More Likely Than
Early Birds to Smoke

Less likely to get the worm.
Humans Mastered Tool Making
25,000 Years Sooner Than
Previously Thought

But could never find a screwdriver when they needed one.
 
Putting Clocks Back in Winter Bad for Health, Wastes Energy, Increases Pollution
And makes you fat, stupid.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Liberal Gene Discovered
Turns out it's not, as conservatives contend, a lifestyle choice.
 
FACTOID
This Year 6.1 Trillion Text
Messages to Be Sent

And ignored.

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