Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – NOVEMBER 15 - 21, 2010
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MISCELLANEOUS
Madoff's Belongings Being Auctioned Off to Pay Creditors
Opening bid for his shorts: $3.5 million.
Florida Woman Charged With Trying to Sell Infant Son to Buy New Car
Tells judge she loves her son, but “would rather have a Buick.”
Chocolate to Become More Scarce as African Farmers Switch to Biofuels
Unless some genius comes up with a car that runs on chocolate, or at least nougat.
 
SPORTS
Brett Favre Says He's Through Playing After This Year
Only way he'd return is if he got bored sitting around the house listening to his wife scream at him all day about those racy voicemails and revealing photos he sent to “that woman.”
RELIGION
Faithful Flocking to Orlando's Holy Land Theme Park
Shown: thrill ride Crucifixion Experience.
American Catholic Bishops Report Shortage of Exorcists
Also, surplus of pedophiles.
 
EDUCATION
Children Whose Parents Use Number Words When Speaking to Them Do Better in Standardized Tests
Like, “if you don't do these three math problems, I'll spank you twice.”
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Restaurant for Dogs Opens in London
Waiters (not shown) are chimpanzees on roller skates.

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