Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – DECEMBER 6 - 12, 2010
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ART
Hundreds of Unseen Picassos Discovered in Closet
Thousands of unseen Picassos discovered in museums.
 
POLITICS
GOP Senators Pledge to Block All Democratic Bills
Result of election mandate to do nothing at all to help economy ever.
 
SPORTS
  Russia, Qatar's Superior Bribes Earn Them 2018, 2022 World Cups
FIFA officials say they received substantially less from U.S., England.
CONSUMER NEWS
Camel’s New Decorative Packs
Honor Las Vegas, Seattle, Austin,
San Francisco

All cities with good hospitals.
 
TRAVEL
Passengers Soon to be Allowed
Guns on Amtrak
On fears Jesse James and his gang may return.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
LAPD Issuing $191 Tickets to Jaywalkers
Despite Los Angeles having zero pedestrians.
GOP 2012 PRESIDENTIAL HOPEFULS
    Name Position Pros Cons
  Sarah Palin Ex-Governor, Alaska Celebrity, avid fans Widely seen as unqualified
  Mitt Romney Ex-Governor, Massachusetts Experience, competence Romneycare, abortion flip-flops
  Tim Pawlenty Ex-Governor, Minnesota Fiscal conservative No charisma
  Satan Governor,
Hell
Great name recognition Source of all evil

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