Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – DECEMBER 13 - 19, 2010
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NEW PRODUCTS
It's a TV Remote! It's a Bottle Opener! It's Both!
It's the quintessential representation of a rapidly declining American Empire, a rueful reminder why the Chinese are eating our nachos, and a perfect pacifier for our growing xenophobia. It's the last thing you'll ever need. $24, at Bored and Drunk.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Attractive Women Less
Likely to be Hired

But when hired, more likely to be promoted.
13% Admit Driving Drunk in Past Year
But don't remember hitting anyone.
Married Men Less Likely to Engage in Aggressive, Illegal Acts
Like releasing classified State Dept. documents.
 
SPORTS
Baseball: Winter Trade Talks Heat Up
General managers hoping to acquire players who can pass a drug test.
INTERNET
WikiLeaks: China's Government Hacks Internet Regularly
Hu Jintao likes to change clues in New York Times crossword.
8 Percent of U.S. Internet Users Tweet
Mostly twaddle.
 
LIFESTYLE
Man Loses 27 lbs. in 10 Weeks Eating Only Twinkies, Doritos, Oreos
“He never looked so good,” say mourners.
 
BOOKS
Audubon’s “Birds of America” Sells for $10 Million at Auction
Kindle version available for $5.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
French Library Finds Previously Unknown Leonardo Da Vinci Manuscript
In it, he describes a vast web-like system connecting people so they can exchange short, banal messages with each other.

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