Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JANUARY 10 - 16, 2011
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MISCELLANEOUS
Billboards Warn of World Ending May 21
Note: billboards paid for through May 31.
112th Congress Convenes
Money begins changing hands.
 
TECHNOLOGY
New TV Remote Entirely
Gesture-Based

Don't like the movie? Punch your wife.
 
SPORTS
NFL Goes Through Annual Realignment
Failed head coaches replaced by assistant head coaches, whose spots are filled by failed head coaches.
 
ART
Billionaire Unveils Design for New Art Museum In Downtown LA
It will house his extensive collection of money.
FEATURE
Which parts of the original Constitution did Republicans decide not to read at the start of the 112th Congress?
A )The part where it says states can ignore federal law.
B )The part where it says 60 votes are required to pass a bill in the Senate.
C )The part where it says no citizenship rights are granted to anyone just because they were born here.
(Hint: There just isn't time to read everything out loud.)
 
TRAVEL
27 Deaths, Including 14 Decapitations, Rock Acapulco
Still a great place for a honeymoon, say local officials.

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