Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JANUARY 17 - 23, 2011
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MISCELLANEOUS
Border Collie Knows Proper Names for Over a Thousand Objects
Being trained to aid elderly when they go shopping.
400 Volunteer for One-Way
Trip to Mars

More expected as tax deadline approaches.
 
FACTOID
Internet, 2010: 255 Million
Websites, 107 Trillion Emails, 25 Billion Tweets, 152 Million Blogs

And nothing of interest.
 
POLITICS
GOP Removes Word “Labor” From Labor and Education Committee
It's now “And Education Committee.”
GOP Picks Reince Priebus as New Chairman
After 47 ballots, he's chosen by Spill and Spell.
WEATHER
2010 Ties 2005 as Hottest
Year Ever

Was one big heat spell from winning outright.
 
ENVIRONMENT
Florida City to Turn Waste
Water Into Drinking Water

And vice versa.
 
RELIGION
Church Making Comeback in Former Soviet Union
Religion vying with heroin to replace vodka as “opiate of the masses.”
 
TRAVEL
Travel Restrictions to Cuba Eased
Regular flights carrying baseball scouts have begun.
 
LINGUISTICS
Linguists: “App” Top Word
Of the Year

Runner-up: “apps.”

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