Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JAN 31 - FEB 6, 2011
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MISCELLANEOUS
England: Gorilla Has Been Walking Upright
Hopes to be released, rent flat in Chelsea.
Breast Feeding Boosts Test
Scores for Children

Just the opposite for adults.
Study: Atheists Know More About Religion Than Believers
And they're more observant.
 
FACTOID
One in Five Divorces Attributed to Facebook
Two in five bloody noses linked to Twitter.
 
POLITICS
Rep. Michele Bachmann: Founding Fathers Opposed Slavery
But kept it to themselves.
Tea Party Splits Into Two Factions
Traditional wing and Mad Hatter wing.
FEATURE
Residents of a small town in the north of Greenland have reported the appearance of the sun two days earlier than expected. This can be explained by:
A )Global warming, ice melting and the town sinking.
B )Change in Earth-Sun orbital parameters.
C )Atmospheric illusion.
D )2% rise in consumption of vodka.
Hint: In Greenland in winter, there’s really no such thing as too much vodka.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Utah Moves to Name M1911 Semiautomatic Official State Gun
Mass murderers who don't use it face stiff penalties.

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