Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MARCH 14 - 20, 2011
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PEOPLE
Bill Gates No Longer World's Richest Man After Giving Billions to Charity
"What a loser," says Carlos Slim.
Gingrich Blames His Love
Of Country for Past Affairs

Assures current wife he'll keep his patriotism in his pants.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Charlie Sheen Reaches 2 Million
Twitter Followers

Among them one million CBS lawyers.
 
MEDIA
Revealed: Many Callers to
Morning Radio Shows Actors

Also: hosts phonies, listeners idiots.
Fox News Suspends Potential
Candidates Newt Gingrich,
Rick Santorum

To preserve its record of balance, fairness.
 
BUSINESS
Starbucks Unveils New Logo
Removing name “Starbucks” in latest design meant to appeal to people who hate Starbucks.
SCIENCE
New Theory Sees Humans Getting Shorter, Fatter
And more adorable by the day.
Elephants Prove Equal to Chimps, Dolphins in Intelligence
On “Animal Kingdom Jeopardy.”
 
Evidence Found That Europeans Used Magic Mushrooms 6000 Years Ago
Cave drawing depicts man being mauled by bull after stiffing his dealer.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: England Still Healthier
Than U.S.

Country with national diet of fat, starch still in better shape than us.
 
CORRECTION
 
Last week, in our story about her first visit to New Hampshire, we quoted Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) as saying she was thrilled to be in "the state where the shot was heard round the world at Lexington and Concord." We neglected to point out she is from a state a long way from these historic events and can't be expected to know their exact locations. Our apologies.

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