Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – MARCH 21 - 27, 2011
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CONSUMER NEWS
Warning Issued for Newest 3-D TVs
Some purchasers complain of being robbed at gunpoint by characters on crime shows.
 
LAW
Hidden Kafka Papers Revealed
In Israeli Court

After unbelievably drawn-out process.
 
SPORTS
March Madness Begins
Once schools that don't pay their players are eliminated, tournament gets interesting.
NFL Owners: Strike Hurts Us, Not Players
Players have their college degrees, guaranteeing them a good, high-paying job in their field of study.
 
ART
Michelangelo's “David” Could Be Endangered by Subway Drilling
May require a jock.
Which of the following bills has NOT been proposed by Republican
lawmakers?
A )a bill to declare global warming “beneficial to the welfare and business climate of Montana.”
B )a bill to abolish drivers licenses in Georgia because licensing violates the “inalienable” right to drive.
C )a bill to create a “sanctuary state” for coal, safe from environmental laws.
D )a bill requiring every South Dakotan to buy a gun.
E )a bill requiring Arizona police to verify citizenship of aliens from planets “other than earth.”
Hint: it’s a free country, you can’t require anybody to buy anything, right?
 
RELIGION
New Research Suggests God
Had a Wife

And a mother-in-law.

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