Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – APRIL 11 - 17, 2011
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PEOPLE
Bristol Palin Paid $262,500 to Advocate for Sex Abstinence
After turning down $1 million to pose for Hustler.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Schwarzenegger Says He's Doing “The Governator” Cartoon Series
Didn't get a single ambassadorship to any of his top five choices.
 
BUSINESS
Scrooge McDuck Tops Forbes List of Richest Fictional Characters
Mainly due to Bush era tax breaks.
Experts: Increased Biofuel Production Driving Food Prices Higher
Slight savings at pump reasonable tradeoff for millions starved to death.
Company Will Pay Your Mortgage if You Turn Your House Into a Billboard
And put on a funny hat, jump up and down on front lawn.
SCIENCE
Research: British Women
Would Trade One Year of
Life for Perfect Body

British men would trade ten years for that woman.
Study: People Averagely Happy
In 1st 3rd of Life, Then Least Happy, Then Most Happy in 70’s, 80’s

Advice: skip middle age.
 
Astronomers Puzzled By Extraordinary Cosmic Blast in Distant Galaxy
But tiny capsule seen escaping Krypton.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Researchers Develop Cannabis-Like Drug That Dulls Pain Without the High
So far they've received no offers of funding.
Study Finds Those Who Eat
Sweets Slimmer, Weigh Less Than Those Who Never Eat Sweets

Concludes those who never eat sweets are crazy.
Study: Prudent, Persistent, Well-Organized People Live
Longer
Reckless, disorganized quitters
lucky they're still alive.

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