Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – APR 25 - MAY 1, 2011
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PEOPLE
Taxes: Obama Earned Considerably Less in 2010
Sales of his books were down, as were sales of Obama bobbleheads, Obama mugs and Obama t-shirts.
 
BUSINESS
Gold Soars Above $1500
Frankincense, myrrh hit all-time highs.
72% Say Raise Taxes on Those Earning More Than $250,000
28% say eat them.
California Wine Company Asks Court to Declare its “Mommyjuice” Doesn’t Violate Rival’s “Mommy’s Time Out” Trademark
Or their “Mommy’s Drunk Now,” or “Mommy’s Soused, Get Lost, Kiddo” brands.
SCIENCE
Important Finding: All Humanity Can Be Divided Into 3 Bacteria Groups
Icky, Yucky and Eeeww.
DNA Evidence: Greenlander Who Died 4,000 Years Ago Had Siberian Roots
Went fishing, got bad directions.
Rumor Among Physicists: God
Particle Has Been Discovered

And it's a “she.”
 
Probe Sends Back First Close-Up Pictures of Mercury
So far, no signs of tuna.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Americans' Bad Health Habits Unchanged in Last Decade
We're still a nation of fat, sedentary drunks about to collapse into the gutter of history.

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