Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MAY 30 - JUNE 5, 2011
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PEOPLE
Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg Says He Only Eats Animals He Slaughters
And unfriends.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Oprah Leaves Daytime TV
After 25 Years

Gives every member of studio audience their own show.
 
BUSINESS
Indian Firms Looking for Cheap, Compliant Labor Find New Opportunities
In South Carolina.
Beer Prices Rise, But Opinions
Differ as to Cause

Some blame suppliers, others blame distributors, still others blame farmers, then someone throws a punch and before you know it you're in the middle of a pier six brawl.
Ford Developing In-Seat Heart-Monitoring Sensors
Detects driver having heart attack or watching knockout babe cross street.
SCIENCE
22-Year-Old Australian Student Finds Missing Mass in Universe During Summer Vacation
Hopes to resolve inconsistency between relativity, quantum mechanics on spring break.
Study: Aging Brains Less Able to Learn from Experience
Resulting in the Tea Party.
 
Koala Population Plummets
Could be added to endangered adorable species list.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Psychologist Urges Narcissistic Disorder be Dropped as Diagnosis
Doesn't care what anybody else thinks.
Baby Boomers Fueling Rise in Knee, Hip Replacements
Due to hula hoops, “the twist.”
American Psychological Association Asks, Is Hoarding a Brain-Based Illness?
Or is it something else, something we can't find because it's buried under all these boxes of junk.

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