Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JUNE 6 - 12, 2011
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PEOPLE
Palin Meets Her Professional Look-Alike
Who is also thinking of running.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Spiderman Album to Go on Sale
In June

Barring any unforeseen accidents.
 
BUSINESS
Google Unveils Wireless Payment System
Hackers rejoice.
Utah Law Encourages Use of Gold, Silver in Purchases
Hopes it makes state friendlier to pirates.
Health Insurers Report
Record Profits

Enough to make you sick.
Apple Store in Germany Defaced With Huge Windows Logo
Some say it's first salvo of World War III.
SCIENCE
Study: Cavemen Stayed Put While Cavewomen Moved Out
Findings based solely on Schwarzeneggers.
Astronomers Baffled: Billions of
Planets in Our Galaxy Not
Orbiting Stars

Say it's like something from bad science fiction movie.
 
USDA Replaces Food Pyramid With Nutrition Plate
Not shown: chips, soda, Big Macs, fries, cookies, candy and alcohol, which make up actual diet.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: New Pill Could Erase Painful Memories
Unfortunately, your spouse will remind you.
Experts: Cellphones Possibly Carcinogenic
We'll know for sure when all six billion users suddenly drop dead.

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