Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JUNE 6 - 12, 2011
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MISCELLANEOUS
Blackbeard's Flagship Discovered Off Coast of North Carolina
By Disney publicity agent.
National Crime Rate Continues
To Fall

Who can afford bullets?
 
TECHNOLOGY
App for Mobile Phones Helps Diagnose Concussion
For when you're talking on your cellphone and walk into a lamppost.
 
LAW
Oregon Judge Rules Medical
Pot User Can Keep Her Guns

But must surrender her bong.
 
TRAVEL
United Flight With 144 Aboard
Returns to D.C. After Fight
Caused by Passenger Reclining
Seat After Takeoff

Once he lowered his tray table all hell broke loose.
FEATURE
The new food “plate,” which replaces the old food “pyramid,” raises the question:
A )what genius came up with the plate?
B )what’s the little round thingy outside the plate?
C )what idiot came up with the pyramid in the first place?
Hint: it was probably designed by a committee.
 
NEW PRODUCTS
Woman Caught Trying to Sell Moon Rock
Claims she brought it back from Moon.

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