Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JULY 4 - 10, 2011
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POLITICS
Bachmann Wants to Reconsider Minimum Wage
To help us compete with sweatshops overseas.
Minnesota Government Shutters; Can't Issue New Hunting Licenses
Residents fear moose glut.
 
SPORTS
NBA, NFL Heading
Toward Lockouts

To prepare, strip clubs hire more staff.
Dodgers File for Bankruptcy
Will change name to "L.A. Bums."
NY Times Sells Half of Stake in Red Sox
To raise money for revival of "No, No Nanette."
 
MISCELLANEOUS
China Opens World's Longest Bridge
Takes more than tank of gas to cross.
TECHNOLOGY
Twitter Hits 200 Million
Tweets Per Day

And still: nothing worth reading.
Vatican: New Popemobile Will Be a Hybrid
Also: smoke used to announce next pope will be replaced by L.E.D. lights.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Guinness: Woman Has World's Largest Natural Boobs
Finishes distant second to woman with world's largest enhanced boobs (not shown).
 
KIDZ KORNER
Vocabulary Builders
nuanced adj., evasive, muddled, contradictory, as in "the candidate's position on same sex marriage is very nuanced."

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