Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – AUGUST 15 - 21, 2011
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MISCELLANEOUS
Petition Drive to Declare Bert and Ernie Gay Hits Major Snag
Turns out they're just puppets.
Study: Rich Less Empathetic
Than Poor

Poor hope someday to be less empathetic.
 
LIFESTYLE
Rich Spanish Duchess, 85, to
Marry Man 24 Years Younger
Despite Family’s Wishes

His family's all for it.
 
CRIME
Polygamist's 50 Wives Say
They'll Visit Him in Prison
 
However, not more than five at a time allowed for conjugal visits.
TRAVEL
Tourism to Vegas Continues
To Improve

As discouraged investors migrate to gambling.
McDonald's to Open One
New Store a Day in China

Until it becomes nation of fat, lazy slobs, like us.
 
PICTURE OF THE WEEK
New See- Through Public Bathrooms Debut
Designed to shorten time people spend in them, and it seems to work.
 
SPORTS
Real Madrid Signs 7-Year-Old
Soccer Prodigy

To one-year contract.
NFL to Begin Testing for Human Growth Hormone
Teams order smaller uniforms, helmets.

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