Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – AUG 29 - SEPT 4, 2011
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PEOPLE
Romney to Quadruple Size of His California Beach Mansion
Huntsman, Perry, Bachmann say they'll do same.
Cheney's Only Regret: Shooting His Best Friend in the Face
And missing the duck.
 
BUSINESS
State Dept. Gives Preliminary Approval for 1700-Mile Canadian Pipeline
Heavy oil would flow from Canada, across Great Plains states, through Oklahoma, Louisiana, then spill into Gulf of Mexico.
 
CONSUMER NEWS
Toxic Chemicals Found in Clothing From Adidas, Calvin Klein, H&M, Abercrombie & Fitch, Lacoste, Converse, Ralph Lauren
But only the finest toxic chemicals.
Match.com to Screen for Abusers
Will offer special area for sex offenders wanting to meet other sex offenders.
SCIENCE
New Report: Aliens Will Fix
Global Warming

By destroying all earthlings.
Latest Count: 8.7 Million
Species on Earth

Millions more if they'd just look under the sink.
Neanderthal Genome Contributes
Greatly to Our Immune System

Also our politics.
Scientists Say God Particle
May Not Exist

But if there is no God particle, we would have to invent one.
 
Astronomers Spot Planet Made of Diamond Orbiting Star 4000 Light Years Away
But maybe we could get there sooner if we really hurry.
 
TRAVEL
Companies Now Pay People $5 to Write 5-Star Online Reviews
You should only trust 4-star reviews, say experts.

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