Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – AUG 29 - SEPT 4, 2011
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MISCELLANEOUS
Pentagon: Experimental Aircraft Flew at Mach 20 Before Disappearing
Thinks it went back in time, explaining past UFO reports.
14 Indicted in California for
Arranging Sham Marriages

Not yours, other sham marriages.
 
TECHNOLOGY
Incoming College Freshmen Younger Than Internet
They've never known a world without anonymous snarky comments.
 
SPORTS
No Progress in NBA Talks
League considers under six-foot league.
NFL Teams Curb Hazing of Rookies
Decides it's no way to treat multimillionaires.
What’s the best way to officially earn the title, “Patriot”?
A )Volunteer for the United States Armed Forces.
B )Sing all the verses of “The Star-Spangled Banner” on key.
C )Uphold and defend the Constitution.
D )Fly an American flag on national holidays.
E )Raise $500,000 for Rick Perry’s presidential campaign.
Hint: what would Jesus do?
 
LIFESTYLE
PETA Starts Porn Site to Promote Veganism
Working mostly with cucumbers, bananas.

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