Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – NOVEMBER 7 - 13, 2011
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PEOPLE
Survey: 35 Million Americans Harbor Hatred for Jews
Oy vey, what a mishegas,” says Sarah Palin.
 
BUSINESS
Bank of America Decides
To Drop $5 Debit Card Fee

Forgive all mortgage debts, cancel year-end bonuses, share profits with the poor.
Washington, D.C. Now
Wealthiest U.S. City

Based on comparative rates of escort services.
 
CONSUMER NEWS
Study: Leading Brand of Baby Shampoo Contains Cancer-Causing Chemicals
Johnson & Johnson says it will replace “No More Tears” with “No More Hair.”
SCIENCE
Homo Sapiens Discovered in Europe Earlier Than Previously Believed
Anthropologists find Greek IOU in German cave.
Huge Asteroid to Pass Very Close to Earth This Week
So close public urged to duck around 13:15GMT on Tuesday.
Astronauts Emerge From 520-Day Mock Mars Mission
Tell media: Mars needs women.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Black Licorice Linked to Heart Trouble
Study released day after Halloween.
Even Light Drinking Linked to Increased Breast Cancer Risk
So you might as well just finish the whole bottle.

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