| ENTERTAINMENT |
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Beatles Tribute Band
Reunites for Concert
Say proceeds of event will go to out-of-work
musicians (themselves). |
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| MEDIA |
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Survey: Fox News Viewers
Know Less Than Those Who
Watch No News at All
But more than Fox News anchors. |
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| BUSINESS |
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Good News: FDIC Says Banks’
Earnings Highest In 4 Years
Bad news: there’s no bad news here, move
along. |
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 American
Dietetic Association Annual Conference
Sponsored by Junk Food Makers
Who now have their eye on American
Diabetes Association. |
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| SCIENCE |
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Researchers Remove Cells That Promote
Aging in Mice
Implant them in cats, at mice's request. |
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| TECHNOLOGY |
 Nissan Testing
Car That Anticipates Your Thoughts
Before you know it you've pulled over and she's getting in.
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Congress Defines Pizza, French
Fries as Vegetables
And nachos as fruit. |
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Sugar High a Myth, Says Pediatrician
Likes Fruity Pebbles and Coke for breakfast,
claims he never even got a buzz. |
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| CORRECTION |
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| Last week we reported that
scientists had discovered a particle which travels
faster than the speed of light, upsetting Einstein's
theory of relativity and possibly causing time to
run backwards. In fact, this discovery will not
be made until next week. We apologize for the
confusion. |
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