Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – DECEMBER 12 - 18, 2011
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FACTOID
  Just Six Members of Walton Family Worth More Than Bottom 30% of Americans
Just six members of Court of Marie Antoinette worth more than bottom 30% of Frenchmen.
MISCELLANEOUS
GOP Voters Less Enthusiastic
About Voting in 2012

The tea party's over.
Freeway Pileup in Japan Totals 8 Ferraris, 1 Lamborghini and 2 Mercedes
Subaru that caused it went unscathed.
  BEST CARS OF 2011
  Toyota Rollover   high center of gravity makes this the most exciting mid-sized SUV in its class.  
  Toyota Apology   high-mileage sedan has a guarantee that the CEO will personally come to your house to apologize for the many anticipated defects. But really, itís not the computer stuff, itís the floor mats/gas pedal thing.  
  Chevy Conflagration   brakes are a little spongy on this one, but itís goes from 0 to 60 in a nanosecond. Too bad about those brakes.  
  Ferrari Berlusconi   looks a little cramped from the outside, but fits up to six prostitutes comfortably in the roomy back seat. Youíll say bunga-bunga!  
  Peugeot Attitude   a little snug inside, since it was made to navigate streets designed for small donkeys in the 12th century, and god help you if you need to order a spare part. But it has that je ne sais quoi thatís so hard to explain, only the French have a word for it.  
  Ford Yuppie   fits the entire soccer team in the back. Too bad you canít really see smaller cars from the driverís seat, but they should get out of your way.  
  BMW Repossession   quite a bargain considering what it originally sold for, but you still canít afford it. Never mind, put down as little as you can (who knows, maybe theyíll take a bad check) and enjoy it while you can.  
  The Infiniti Viagra   this snappy sports car is sleek and fast, everything you havenít been in about 40 years. But that trophy wife youíre after doesnít care, sheís only after your money, and this car announces: youíve got it.  
  Cadillac Dominion   great suspension on this baby, which youíre gonna need for your fat ass, youíre wifeís fat ass, and all your family and friendsí fat asses.  
  Lexus Alimony   Yes, it's pricey, but your last car was getting old.  

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