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THIS WEEK IN IRONY
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Ironic Times

 NO. 588 “Expect the Ironic” DECEMBER 19 - 25, 2011 

Dec 12
Dec 26
PANETTA TELLS TROOPS WE'RE WINNING WAR IN AFGHANISTAN
Like we won in Iraq.
 
WORLD NEWS
Russian Billionaire, Owner of
NBA's New Jersey Nets, to
Challenge Putin in 2012

If he wins, David Stern says he'll invalidate election.
Saudi Report: Letting Women Drive Would Lead to Promiscuity
And promiscuity would lead to more stonings and “nobody wants to see that.”
India Leads World Top 10 in Shoplifting
U.S. 10th, but with a bullet.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Global Action on Climate Change Postponed
Reflecting consensus that it is already too late.
U. S. NEWS
One in Two Americans Poor
Or Low-Income

Half of those surveyed asked for spare change.
Percentage of Married Americans Drops to All-Time Low
Experts blame the Kardashians.
 
REMINDER
  The check is in the snail mail.
 
Bad News: Public No Longer Paying For Infrastructure Maintenance
Good news: if you're injured in a car accident and end up in a coma, you'll be kept alive in a vegetative state for years at public expense.
Last American Troops Leave Iraq
Last American contractors to leave in 2034.
 
FACTOID
Top 1% of Top 1% Account for One Third of All Political Contributions
And they're brothers.
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