Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – DEC 26, 2011 - JAN 1, 2012
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PEOPLE
Kim Jong-un Takes Over, Makes Immediate Changes
Replaces all his father's Looney Tunes videos with his collection of Baby Looney Tunes DVDs.
 
POLITICS
Gingrich Says He Received Only $35,000 a Year From Freddie Mac
For 40 years.
Pro-Adultery Website Endorses Gingrich
Despite his vow to be faithful to his third wife.
 
BUSINESS
Koch Industries Hopes to Fill
2500 Jobs

Mostly in vote-suppression.
AT&T Bows to Pressure, Ends
Bid for T-Mobil

“Our dream of a monopoly is over,” says spokesman.
$2 Million Gold Rolls-Royce Unveiled
Drawing oohs and aahs from dictators, drug dealers, One Percenters.
SCIENCE
Gene Isolated in Mice That Gives Them “Super Memories”
And boy do they remember having those genes isolated.
NASA Activates Humanoid on Space Station
Intelligent robot pre-loaded with 5,000 “knock-knock” jokes.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Confirmed: Apple, Grape Juice Contain Too Much Arsenic
Industry's response: let consumers decide how much arsenic they want.
Government Won't Allow Girls 16 and Under Plan B Pill Without Prescription
Okays sale of Viagra to junior high school boys.
Study: 1 in 5 Americans Has
Hearing Loss

And they're the ones who vote.
 
Vocabulary Builders
Compromise n., 1. Agreement allowing people with different opinions to coexist peacefully. 2. Spineless caving in to pressure, abandoning your principles, surrender.

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