Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – FEBRUARY 6 - 12, 2012
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PEOPLE
Romney Earns Trump's Endorsement
After showing him his offshore holdings.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Citizen Kane to Be Screened
At Hearst Castle

Over William Randolph Hearst's dead body.
 
BUSINESS
Study: U.S. Workers Spend $1,000 on Coffee, $2,000 on Lunch
And $3000 on removing stains.
Facebook Going Public
Now everyone can own a piece of themselves.
McDonald's Says it Has Stopped Using Ammonium Hydroxide in Its Hamburgers
But will add it if requested.
SCIENCE
Study: Marked Increase in
Number of Pedestrians Killed
While Wearing Headphones

Some listening to reports about increase in number of pedestrians killed while wearing headphones.
 
Rare White Penguin Spotted in Antarctica
As predicted in Mayan Calendar.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Push on to Designate Sugar a Toxin
And high fructose corn syrup a weapon of mass destruction.
Susan G. Komen Foundation Reverses Controversial Defunding of Planned Parenthood
Person responsible commits suicide using Susan G. Komen Hope for the Cure handgun.

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