Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – FEB 27 - MAR 4, 2011
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ENTERTAINMENT
DOGTV Cable Channel Debuts
Not aimed at dogs, it's an outlet for lousy television shows.
 
BUSINESS
Consumer Sentiment Improves
Though some overcome with sentiment.
GM Now Sells More Cars in China Than in U.S.
As Mao said, “Let a thousand Buicks bloom.”
Pentagon's Black Budget Grows to More Than $50 Billion
According to Office of Management and Black Budget.
 
CONSUMER NEWS
First Lab-Grown Hamburger Will Be Served This Fall
You want fries with that?
SCIENCE
Doubts Arise Concerning Faster- Than-Light Neutrino
Turns out it was hand-timed.
Report: Global Warming Could Shrink Humans
Which would affect everything from pro football to pro basketball.
 
Monkey's Brainwaves Control Robotic Hand
Which then breaks glass, and monkey escapes.
 
New Planet Spotted Enshrouded in Thick, Steamy Atmosphere
Where every day is a bad hair day.
HIGH TECH
New Fabric of Carbon Nanotubes Generates Electicity From Body Heat
Enough to power your light-up bowtie.

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