Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – MARCH 12 18, 2012
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MISCELLANEOUS
Problems Reported With Superhuman Growth Hormone
Former 98-pound weakling says now his neck weighs 98 pounds.
NYPD Monitored Muslim Students at Yale, University of Pennsylvania, Other Distant Campuses
Cite "clear and present danger" they might sometime visit New York, take in a show.
 
SPORTS
NFL Commissioner Weighs Punishment for Bounties
Everything from one-game suspensions for taking out quarterbacks to lifetime bans for knocking out the commissioner.
 
CONSUMER NEWS
Dangerous Chemicals Found in Dozens of Everyday Household Products
Industry promises to come up with dozens of everyday household products to counteract them.
FEATURE
How come the Egyptians donít like well-meaning Americans working for Democracy-promoting groups?
A )Egyptians donít like Americans.
B )Egyptians donít like Democracy.
C )There is a history here, and it ainít pretty.
Hint: Can you spell “CIA”?
 
TRAVEL
Airline Passengers Can Now Choose Their Seatmates on Facebook
Just remember to remove your wedding ring.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
George Washington McNugget Sold on EBay for $8100
Buyer says “it was delicious.”

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