Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – APR 30 - WED 6, 2012
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PEOPLE
Gingrich to Quit Presidential Race
Focus on becoming Emperor of the Moon.
 
INTERNET
Google Spends Record
$5 Billion on Lobbying

As a result, hardly anyone in Congress uses Bing.
 
BUSINESS
Billionaires Form Company to Send Robotic Spacecraft to Mine Asteroids
And become trillionaires.
Apple, Through Numerous Legal Maneuvers, Pays Less Than 10% in Income Taxes
Of course, you too could legally set up subsidiaries in Ireland, the Netherlands, Luxembourg and the British Virgin Islands if you were so inclined.
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Mad Cow Disease Outbreak in California Discovered by Random Chance
Dept of Agriculture official: “We just got lucky.”
Doctor Claims to Have Found G-Spot
But locked in legal battle with ex-wife who insists she found it.
 
Pizza Hut Debuts Pizzas With Cheeseburgers in Crust
Delivered right to your hospice.
 
SCIENCE
Astronomers Say Planet 22 Light Years Away Could Be Habitable
And quite affordable.
Studies: Rich More Likely
To Cheat at 4-Way Stop Signs

A surprise only to people who don't drive.

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