Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JUNE 18 - 24, 2012
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NEW PRODUCTS
A Lamborghini-
Designed Gold-
Plated Phone!

Get ready for the Romney administration, because conspicuous consumption is back! Won't the homeys on the F train be impressed by this extraordinary example of over-the-top form over function. And they'll find it's got the latest Android software inside when they use it to alert friends of their daring heist. $2300, at Moe's Pawn Shop.
 
EDUCATION
Romney Pushes for More
School Choice

For example, he'd have gone to Choate, but daddy insisted on Cranbrook.
 
SPORTS
Baseball: Stricter Steroid Testing
Linked to Rash of No-Hitters,
Perfect Games

And fewer arguments.
World Boxing Organization to Review Decision in Pacquiao-Bradley Title Bout
Despite fact Bradley was knocked cold in third round and carried out of ring on stretcher, he won split decision.
What is the meaning of habeas corpus?
A )The right granted in Article One of the U.S. Constitution to be brought before a judge and informed of the charges against you, what evidence the state has to imprison you, and the right to be released from custody if the state cannot show sufficient evidence.
B )The right of your family to have your corpse returned to them after the state has killed you.
C )A bunch of Latin words that nobody knows what they mean, including the Supreme Court, as currently composed.
Hint: Itís been a long time since Latin was a required subject, especially in Law School.
 
RELIGION
Catholic Bishops Meet in Atlanta
To Oppose Contraception

And have a good time.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Euro 2012 Begins
Shown: Poland vs. Russia.

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