| MISCELLANEOUS |
 |
 New Warhol
Campbell Soup Cans Hit Shelves
Experts consider the chicken
noodle a good investment. |
|
|
Apple Rejects App That Reports
Every Deadly Drone Strike
Says it doesn't provide enough “fun.” |
| |
| EDUCATION |
|
125 Students in Harvard's “Introduction
to Congress” Class Accused of Cheating
If proven true they will all receive A's. |
| |
| RELIGION |
|
 Breakaway
Amish Group on Trial for Cutting Off Beards of
Other Amish
And for signing deal with Gillette. |
|
| |
| SPORTS |
|
Augusta National Golf Club Finally
Admits Women
They can play on Wednesdays (except during
the Masters), and eat in the dining room any
day, until 3 PM. |
|
| FEATURE |
 |
| Eric Holder won't be filing any
charges against the CIA in the death of a prisoner in
Afghanistan in 2002 or another in Iraq in 2003 because: |
| A ) | Prosecutions
are not about right and wrong, they're about winning and
losing, and he wasn't sure he could win. |
| B ) | These are
stand-your-ground type cases, sort of. |
| C ) | War crimes,
war shrimes. |
| Hint: yes, we're a nation of laws, not
men, except for sometimes. |
|
|
|
| |
| NEW PRODUCTS |
|
 Finally, A
Pen for Delicate, Feminine Hands
A breakthrough in writing implements comparable
to the introduction of Virginia Slims, BiC for Her
is an attractive ballpoint pen perfect for endorsing
alimony checks, voting, or stabbing the man
who came up with this. $2.29, at Girls 'R' Us. |
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