Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – OCTOBER 8 - 14, 2012
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TECHNOLOGY
First 1,000-MPH Car Shown Off to Public
Two-mile braking distance still a concern.
One Billion People on Facebook
Put in perspective, that's one billion embarrassing, humiliating, reputation-ruining photos, quotes and personal profiles.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Bill to Create National Manhattan Project Historic Park Fails
Due to unexpectedly high radiation levels.
 
SPORTS
NBA Cracks Down on “Flopping”
Those found guilty will have large red “F” sewn on their jersey.
Owner of Jets Says He'd Rather Romney Wins Than Jets
So far, Jets obliging.
Hockey Lockout Continues
Players, league still far apart on dental plan, affirmative action.
FEATURE
Mitt Romney's energetic performance in the first presidential debate proves:
A )It helps if you're not encumbered by your previous record.
B ) It helps if you're not encumbered by your previous positions.
C )It helps if you're not encumbered by the facts.
D )All of the above.
Hint: a lie travels half way around the world before the truth can get its pants on.
 
RELIGION
Two Christian Evangelical Broadcasters Buy Key Locations in Jerusalem to Cover Jesus's Return
Apocalypse Network jostling for best angle with Beast Broadcasting.

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