Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – OCTOBER 22 - 28, 2012
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PEOPLE
Honey Boo Boo Endorses Obama
She will meet Lindsay Lohan in three debates on E!
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Rolling Stones Announce 50th Anniversary Tour
Could be last chance to see them before their 51st anniversary tour.
 
BUSINESS
Study: Income Inequality
Greater Today Than in 1774,
Even Counting Slavery

Of course, there were no Super Lotto jackpots in those days.
Koch Brothers Send Their Companies' 45,000 Employees Email Telling Them to Vote for Romney
Including printable pink slip attachment for those opting not to comply.
SCIENCE
Early Humans Much Smarter
Than Previously Thought

Modern humans not nearly as smart.
Small British Company Creates
Petrol From Air, Water

Next step: getting gobbled up by oil giant, never to be heard from again.
Georgia Congressman Calls
Evolution, Big Bang Theory “Lies Straight From the Pit of Hell”

Thinks Einstein's Theory of Relativity “sucks an egg.”
 
Astronomers Believe Habitable
Planet Could Orbit Closest Star

But it would still take nearly 4.4 years, traveling at the speed of light, before we could conquer it, steal its valuable assets and enslave its inhabitants.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Boys Entering Puberty
At an Earlier Age

And staying there.

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