Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – NOVEMBER 19 - 25, 2012
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MISCELLANEOUS
San Francisco Nudists Sue to Block Proposed Ban
But are barred from entering courthouse.
Report: U.S. Will Be World's
Top Oil Producer in 5 Years

And we'll all be rich as Rockefeller.
 
TECHNOLOGY
Defense Dept. Claims World's
Fastest Supercomputer

Oak Ridge National Laboratory's 27-petaflop Titan can read every private email ever sent twice as fast as previous record-holder.
 
POLITICS
Post-Election Analysis: GOP
Must Change or Risk
Becoming Regional Party

With “I Wish I Was in Dixie” as theme song.
Romney Campaign Spent $25,000
For Victory Party Fireworks

They will be donated to a charity that assists the very rich.
 
TRAVEL
European Airline Introduces
Standing Room Only Section

And Standing Room Economy, on the wings.
FEATURE
Mitt Romney lost the election because:
A )he's cruel to dogs.
B )he's out of touch with average Americans.
C )he has no sympathy for people who need government help.
D )he holds positions on social issues at odds with a majority of Americans.
E )he never paid his fair share in taxes.
F )he avoided military service but supports an expansionist American military.
G )he thinks half of us are lazy moochers.
H )he wants undocumented immigrants to be hounded out of the country.
I )he changed his position on a range of issues numerous times.
J )he made his living pleasing investors at the expense of American workers.
Hint: he had us at dogs.
 
NEW PRODUCTS
Cracker Jack Introduces Caffeine-Coated Version
Created in response to longer baseball games.

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