Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – DECEMBER 3 - 9, 2012
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NEW PRODUCTS
Finally, a Complete Christmas Dinner in a Self-Heating Can!
Christmas dinner doesn't get much simpler than this, unless you're ordering pizza. Unseal the lid and in eight minutes you're sitting down to a holiday feast even your dog will envy. Don't ask how it heats itself, just enjoy! $8.95 at Mr. Lonely.
 
INTERNET
“Gangnam Style” Now Most-Watched YouTube Video Ever
Still lags far behind “Paris Hilton Blowjob” for all-time most-watched video.
 
SPORTS
Bonds, Sosa, Clemens on Hall of Fame Ballot for First Time
Baseball writers will sit down, kick back a few stiff ones, pop some tranquilizers and then drain an energy drink before rejecting all three.
 
PEOPLE
Marco Rubio Still Not Sure if Earth Was Created in 7 Days or 7 Eras, Since Hes “Not a Scientist”
Doesn't know his ass from his elbow since he's “not a doctor.”
What is this?
1.  Walmart
2.  Yum! Brands
3.   McDonald's
4.  Target
5.  Sears
6.  Burger King
7.  Starbucks
8.  DineEquity
9.   Macy's
10.  Wendy's
11.  Darden Restaurants
12.  J.C. Penney
A )List of 12 companies most loved by their workers.
B )List of 12 companies most loved by their customers.
C )List of 12 companies most respected on Mars.
D )List of companies paying U.S. workers the least.
Hint: Martians have good labor unions.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Latest Fashion: Men's High Heels
Guys hope to regain ground lost recently to women in education, management.

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