Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – DECEMBER 24 - 30, 2012
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PEOPLE
  Queen Becomes First Monarch in Over a Century to Attend Prime Minister's Cabinet Meeting
Without jokes about royal family, meeting lasts less than five minutes.
 
BUSINESS
Diet Pepsi Switching to Sweetener Less Sensitive to Heat
Will promote it as “less deadly.”
Report: Thieves Rob Canada's Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve
Security tightened at international warehouse of pancakes.
Sales of Bulletproof Backpacks Soar
Along with bulletproof lunchboxes, bulletproof diapers.
 
TRAVEL
Virgin Atlantic Opens High-End Lounge at LAX With Mood Lighting, Upholstered Wheel-Shaped Seats, Flat Screen TVs, Aviation-Themed Drinks
And orgasmatrons.
SCIENCE
2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 Hottest Year Ever
But next year should be cooler.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Pinocchio Effect: Study Finds Nose Becomes Hot When One Lies
Already being developed as prime time reality show.
 
EDUCATION
University of California Drops Controversial New Logo
Decides symbol of once-proud publicly funded university system sinking into oblivion sends “wrong message.”
 
CORRECTION
 
We erred recently when we captioned the photo at right “U.S. troops leaving Kabul.” The photograph is of U.S. troops leaving Vietnam from the roof of the U.S. Embassy in what was then Saigon. We apologize for any confusion caused by our mistake.

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