Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MAR 4 - 10, 2013
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ENTERTAINMENT
Robin to Be Killed Off in Upcoming Batman Comic
After he's discovered in Bat Tub with Green Lantern.
 
CONSUMER NEWS
Report: Horse a Hidden Ingredient in Many European Foods
For example, horseradish and hors d'oeuvres.
 
BUSINESS
Oracle CEO Buys Hawaiian Island, Lanai, Then Airline to Get There, Then Gives Millions to Poor
Actually, he didnít give millions to poor, but other stuff is true.
BP, Halliburton, Trans Ocean Blame Each Other in Civil Suit to Assign Penalties for Gulf Spill
Just a shame somebody has to win.
Titanic II to Set Sail in 2016
Identical to original in every way, including an inadequate number of lifeboats.
SCIENCE
Scientists: 72 is the New 30
Unfortunately, 30 is the new 68.
 
Report: Humans Kill 100 Million Sharks Each Year
Shark has better chance of being killed by human than winning lottery.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Sugar, Mostly in Sodas, Linked
To Type 2 Diabetes

Study's conclusion reached after asking just about anybody.
Study: Mediterranean Diet Cuts
Risk of Heart Disease by 30%

Unfortunately, Mediterranean economy makes it unaffordable.
 
EDUCATION
One-Third of Student Loans
In 2012 Delinquent

As were a lot of the students.

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