 WHITE HOUSE
PETITION CALLS FOR POLITICIANS TO WEAR
NASCAR-LIKE ADVERTISING
And keep all their cash bribes in a clear plastic
globe on their desk. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Obama: Iran One Year Away
From Building a Nuke
Whereas Israel is turning them out like
matzoh balls. |
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Another Putin Critic Living
In Exile Commits Suicide
Once again by stabbing self in foot with
poison-tipped umbrella. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS ... |
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 Two Living Popes
Meet for First Time in More Than 600 Years
At dry cleaners. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Congress Spares Meat Inspectors
From Sequester Cuts
Saving an estimated 800,000 lives. |
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Family Research Council Says
Society Should Punish Those
Who Have Premarital Sex
By forcing them to join Family Research
Council. |
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| REMINDER |
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The only thing that stops a
bad guy with a gun is about twenty cops with guns. |
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GOP Opposes Extension of
Lifeline Program to Ensure
Old, Poor Have Phone to Call
For Help in Emergency
Because we already have too many old, poor. |
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Effort to Keep White House
Open for Public Tours by
Diverting Money From Elvis
Music Boat in Georgia Fails
Keeping nation’s priorities in order. |
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