Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – APR 29 - MAY 5, 2013
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NEW PRODUCTS
New Interactive Pajamas With Scannable Codes Link to Online Bedtime Stories!
Wow! Now parents, freed from reading to their kids, can go get a drink or have a smoke and by the time they come back the kids are in dreamland. 100% flammable cotton. $29.95, at The Lousy Parent.
 
SPORTS
Pro Leagues Prepare for First
Gay Jackie Robinson

And first gay Branch Rickey.
NCAA Names College Football
Playoff “College Football Playoff”

After rejecting “Football College Playoff,” “College Playoff Football,” “Playoff Football College” and “Football Playoff College.”
Golf's Controversial Ban on Belly Putter Begins in 2016
More controversial ban on plaid pants goes into effect in 2024.
Why in West, Texas were two playgrounds, a middle school, a high school and a retirement home all adjacent to a fertilizer plant where there is a high risk of a massive explosion, like the one which did occur, but thankfully on a weekend when the kids werenít in school?
A )Just real bad luck.
B )God had some kind of revenge thing going on for reasons known only to Him.
C )No zoning laws in West, Texas, where folks donít like government telling them what they can and canít do, and where they can and canít do it.
Hint: It ainít bad luck, and God had nothiní to do with it.
 
ODD'S 'N''E' NDS
Man Rejects $2000 EBay Bid for Seemingly Unchanged 14-Year-Old McDonald's Burger
It's as delicious and nutritious as it was the day he decided not to eat it.

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