Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JUNE 24 - 30, 2013
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PEOPLE
FBI Digs Up Detroit Field Looking for Jimmy Hoffa
Hoping three hundred times is the charm.
New England Patriots Owner Says Putin Stole His Super Bowl Ring
And his Twix bar.
 
BUSINESS
Bernanke Hints, Vaguely, at Possibility of the Chance That, Perhaps, Sometime Far Far in the Future, Maybe, He'll Raise Rates
Markets plunge.
American Airlines Squeezes 10 Extra Seats into Coach to Make Room for Lie- Flat Seats in Business Class
And a hot tub in first class.
After Initially Defying NHTSA Request to Fix 2.7 Million Jeeps Subject to Catching Fire in Rear-End Collisions, Chrysler Agrees to Cheap Fix for 1.56 Million
And advises remaining 1.14 million jeep owners not to stop suddenly.
SCIENCE
Study: Baby Chicks Smarter
Than Baby Humans

They consistently beat human babies at tic-tac-toe.
Researchers: Those Who Receive
Mild Shock to Brain Find People
More Attractive Than Before
They Receive Shock

In tests conducted on cheerleaders, campus beauty queens and other women who otherwise wouldn't give researchers the time of day.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
American Medical Association Recognizes Obesity as a Disease
Youíre not fat, youíre just feeling a little under the weather.
 
LAW
High Court Rules Suspects
Must Speak Up if They Wish
To Remain Silent

If they wish to speak, must do so silently.
High Court: Drug Companies Can Be Sued for Paying Competition Not to Sell Generic Version of Its Brand Name Drug
Ask your lawyer if suing a drug company is right for you.

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